First impression really counts! In life we meet many people. A special few becomes your friends, your buddies, but most end up as acquaintances. This is not to say that they are not important. They are, in fact, crucial in many areas of your life. They may work with you, assist you or even open opportunities for you. In many instances, first impression may be the only impression they have of you. Yes, looks matters, but effective communication is what decides whether we pass the interview or not. We are, after all, creatures with very developed nervous systems who are sensitive to even subtle communication cues like facial expressions and hand movements. This is what distinguishes us from other animals (sorry, I’m a science student). So, being able to form a strong ‘connection’ with another person would certainly leave a positive impression.
Of course, having effective communication skills is not just for first impression or to ace that job interview. There are many other reasons why we communicate as well. One crucial reason is to get someone to do something for you. We may email our professors to help us change tutorial timeslots, or we may ask people to leave a comment on our blog posts. The means would justify the ends. In other words, how we communicate would affect the end result.
Which do you think would be better? “Leave a comment here” or “Could you be so nice as to leave me a sweet comment?” Go figure.
Friday, January 23, 2009
The importance of effective communication skills
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15 comments:
Hey Glenn,
I see that the 'post comments' option on your blog is finally working. :)
You and Ryan are so mercenary! I was reading Ryan's blog entry, and he said that good communication skills were necessary to 'get what you want as quickly as you can', which is pretty similar to what you are saying here.
Actually, I'm sure that you mean it in a fairly nice way, but perhaps there are better ways to phrase it than 'to get someone to do something for you'. In this situation, your communication is projecting a negative first impression! :)
Lastly, although I am a lowly Physics student, I disagree that animals are incapable of interpreting subtle visual cues etc. I think that animals are perfectly capable of interpreting each other's moods - a critical survival skill in any setting. Furthermore, I believe that there is much circumstantial evidence indicating that some dogs are extremely proficient at interpreting their owner's moods.
I think that the difference between humans and animals is the capacity to invent and consider abstract concepts. Their abstract nature requires us to further develop our communication skills so as to accurately convey their complicated nature.
Regards,
bennng
Hey Ben! Thanks for your comments. Ryan and I probably think along the same lines. Actually, I did not meant it in a nice way. I believe that at times, you have to also 'scold' people to get things done. You do have to be merciless at times.
Regarding visual cues, I'm well aware that animals can interpret certain cues, but humans could definitely do so at a much higher level. I don't think that a dog could detect a lie as well as a human can.
See you in class!
I appreciate your angle of interpretating the importance of effective communication skills-focusing on the two points of first impression and getting someone to do something for you respectively. For the latter, can I say it is almost equal to persuading ability which should be one of the most important functions of communication?
Hmm,I'd better not to be involved in your arguments on how well animals can interpret visual cues. But since it's controversial, maybe it's better to illustrate using another example?
Finally it is peculiar to end with such a question. Considering that the readers are at least acquainted with you, I would say the former one is better.
Hey Glenn!
Nice job of linking the topic of communication to the human nervous system.
Humans are complicated creatures. This is, perhaps, why we can communicate verbally and non-verbally, as well as transmit messages with either straight-forward meanings or with hidden meanings, such as sarcasm.
As what Nie Jing has mentioned in her comment, the power of persuasion cannot be underestimated. Getting someone to help us achieve our aims might be one of the unspeakable objectives of communication.
Though I think you have state this aim a bit too bluntly, it is certainly true to a large extent.
Hi June and Wan Yee,
I'm glad to receive your comments. Persuasion is just one part of 'getting someone to do something for you'. Sometimes you have to use what is known as TIP (Threat, Inducement, Persuasion). All of this requires communication.
As for the complicated creature known as human, I'm sure there are a lot of research surrounding this grey area. But I really don't want to go further into it. This would mean more research for me!
In response to my ending statement, it was meant as a rhetorical question, but I guess it did not come out as well as I wanted. Might try again next time!
Great minds think alike, there is nothing much to comment on that point since I totally agree with you.( This is your sweet comment)
(This is your comment) Your reading cues point is somewhat misleading. There are many creatures that have very complex modes of communication. Some of which are even more complex than our own.
Hence, I was wondering if you are talking about the emotions and myriad of different meanings behind the same cue that we give out? An example would be, I am angry with you but I still smile at you and shake your hand as I have to work with you. (This is of course just an example haha.)
Thanks for the 'sweet' comment ryan, so loving.
Are you trying to say that there are creatures who have more advance nervous system as ours? Don't forget that the nervous system includes the brain as well. Even if you are talking about 'advance' methods of communication like bats' echolation, I still stand by humans that we have the highest level of communication. That would include the example you cited.
I don't know why are we still on this topic. Its an ES module!!
Hi Glenn,
Thanks alot for your constructive comments. Don't worry. I was not offended by what you said. In fact, it gives me the platform to improve. I was actually rushing to do my post so, guess in that rush, i overlooked certain things. I like the point you brought up about the first impression being the only impression that people might have of you.However, I believe seeing a person beyond first impression defines what you are. There will be a day where we all will possess the soft skills to communicate, at that point who do we define as genuine and fake? I am sure all of us could put up an act to show sincerity. However, it is still an act. As we dwell in this module , i hope we don't forget that we should not try to socially construct ourselves just to get what we want. let us all understand who we are and learn from our flaws. With that, i must your grammar and vocab is way better than mine. cheerz
Hi Glenn,
I have to say that your blog post is very humorous and interesting. Haha. I will go for “Leave a comment here” as I am not too sure your latter sentence is meant to be a joke or not. I would rather pretend I didn’t see your blog post at all because if I did not leave any comment at all will mean I’m not nice? And that comment still has to be sweet; eventually what you get may not be a truthful or complete comment.
I agree that first impressions count for those people that you will only meet a few times in your whole life. I also agree that communication is the only way to ask for help from others (This is what you mean by getting someone to do something for you right? Haha if not it sounds like the person is being used.) But there are of course other reasons for communicating as well, like for social reasons or even to keep the relationship going strong and steady between you and your girlfriend. I do think your blog post are a bit too straightforward. Haha I am sure you can make them sound nicer. But still I enjoyed reading your post very much. =)
Huiwen
My smiling faces are all missing. =( I copy and paste from microsoft word. Boohoo. Haha.
Hi Jay,
Hmm good point and it makes me confused about my own thoughts as well. Haha. I do understand your worries. I think you are assuming that soft skills, like being courteous to others on first count, praising others before saying things that are not so nice may be fake? Maybe like the praises that are not the truth or not what you think will lead you to being fake? Other than that, I think all these are basic respect or even tactics to handle human-human relations. Maybe there is still a way to be sincere and genuine and at the same time effectively communicating with others? I am not sure myself too. Haha feel free to comment anything too.
Huiwen
I’ll reply to the comments one at time. Jay’s first.
Hi Jay,
I’m really relieved to have received your reply. Throughout the lesson today I was worried that I had really gone overboard, especially after being heavily ‘targeted’ by Prof Goh (I’m letting her see this on purpose, haha). Hopefully you’ll see it more as me being ‘assertive’ rather than ‘aggressive’. Please also take into account the effort on my part to have written you that long piece of critique! Haha.
I’m actually glad to hear you say that you were rushing through the post. As I’ve said in class, I was disappointed with your work as I had higher expectations from you. This expectation came from the facts that you do speak well, and you had a deep desire to do this module. Since you were rushing through the post, it at least gives me a reason to know that you could still write better. The comment you posted above shows that you actually can do so.
I do agree with you that there’s more to communication other than for first impressions. But, like I’ve mentioned, first impressions still count. There are occasions whereby we really do need to put on an act. I guess we need to learn when to be ‘fake’ and when to be genuine.
Cheers,
Glenn
Hi Huiwen,
You are spamming my blog!! Please continue to do so. Haha. Also, you never learn from the lesson right? Always check your work before ‘clicking’ on the submit button. That is why you have all the missing smiling faces.
Thanks for saying that my post is humorous. I take pride in being funny. You mentioned that the comments posted have to be sweet and not truthful or complete. Perhaps that is what I really wanted? Comments that are sweet and rosy that could make my pink blog all the more beautiful? I could possibly be trying to communicate what I really wanted on my blog subtly. Think about it.
There are definitely many other reasons for effective communication. I just picked on two that I felt were the most important. We had to work within a word limit, remember? I guess I am straightforward in my posts. It tends to give readers a more genuine feeling which would allow them to enjoy reading the posts. They would also be more willing to laugh at my jokes!
Cheers,
Glenn
Hi Glenn,
I am very sorry for spamming but your blog post is too irresistible that I can’t help myself. Haha. It is very happening with a lot of comments. Haha.
I understand that you are trying to put across the message that you want nice comments in yout blog. Haha. But you really don’t mind comments that are not completely true as long as they are pleasant to the ears? For me, I would rather hear the truth and in that way, I know how to improve and where I can start from. Perhaps everyone has different expectations and beliefs. =)
I am very sorry for mentioning about other reasons for effective communication. After I posted my comment then did I realize I said the wrong things. Pardon me. Hehe. Yes everyone chooses different reasons that are important to them. But I think it is just the phrasing thing, you can still sound straightforward and genuine but getting someone to do something for you just sounded a bit hmm. Anyway! More spamming to come! Need to think of the next blog post..Sigh. Look forward to seeing yours! =)
Love,
Huiwen
Hey Huiwen,
Yay! I've got a fan for my blog. You may want to consider setting up a fansite for this blogsite. Haha. But let's see how long you can keep up with the spamming as the semester goes by.
If you let me choose between a nice comment or a truthful but not nice comment, I'll rather have the nice comment. I have to admit that I dish out criticisms easily but I am not very good at accepting them. But because of this module, I'll have to try!
When I was way much younger, I was quite a quiet boy. I soon realized that I usually don't get what I want or have my views heard. Nowadays, when I speak up, even if I don't get what I want, at least my views would have been taken into consideration.
Anyway, my next blog post is up! Its not funny though. Difficult to fool around when I have to come up with a serious scenario. You can still comment on it if you like! Please do! My blogsite needs the support from fans like you! Haha..
Regards,
Glenn
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